31 Days of Paganism– Day 12

What are your beliefs on the afterlife?

Afterlife? Paradise? Who knows.

Afterlife? Paradise? Who knows.

Honestly, I don’t know. I’m not sure what happens when we die or where we go. I feel like we probably go somewhere, I mean the energy that keeps us alive, our spirits, they have to go somewhere, right? Energy cannot be created or destroyed, but it can change from one form to another, or transferred from one object to another. So Where does it go when it leaves our bodies? And is that our soul? Our spirit?

I don’t know what actually happens after we die, but I have some ideas, or at least what I am most comfortable happening. Really, our ideas about the afterlife are merely a comfort to us at the most because no one truly knows what happens until they go through the death process. And when was the last time you had a conversation with a dead person? I certainly have not had that opportunity. Sometimes I think it would be cool to be reincarnated. My grandmother visited a woman who told her that she and I had actually known each other in multiple previous lives, and that in those lives she had saved me in some way. Who knows if that is true, but what if it is? I’d like to believe that there is something beyond this life, whether it is eternity in some kind of paradise, or reincarnations (or both). And I like the idea that we are reincarnated to learn more, to expand our understanding of ourselves and Spirit until we’ve learned all we can and we can finally rest. For instance, I have a lot of issues around fear that keep me from doing what I want or need. Maybe my lesson in this life is to learn how to gain courage, to do things even when I’m afraid of what might happen. To not let fear rule me.

Sometimes I think, who cares about what happens after– I just want to live the best life I can for as long as I can. And then sometimes I fear death and what comes after, and I am up late at night worrying about when that day will come. What will it feel like to die? Will it take me by surprise, or will I know it’s coming and have time to make peace with it? Will I have time to say goodbye? How much life will I miss? And then I wonder if, after I’ve died (and this is assuming that there is an afterlife in which I can look back on my life with a more enlightened mind and spirit), will I think that all my fears were warranted? Or will I laugh, thinking about how foolish I was to worry when really, everything was going to turn out fine.

I hope there is an afterlife. I hope that there is time for reflection in paradise. I hope there is reincarnation, too. And I hope that I will get to be reunited with my family after we’ve all died. Because honestly, I don’t know how to exist without them (even in paradise, even on a different world or plane or universe, even in death). I don’t show it enough but my love for my people runs so deep and it is never ending.

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